Pat, Pat, bo-back, Banana-fana fo fat, Fee-fi mo-mat. Pat!

Now I'm quite sure that everyone has picked up and gazed through one of those "Baby Names, and their Meaning" books before and no doubt turned to the page where their name is to see what the meaning is. I actually think those books are quite dull & boring, and NEVER accurate, so....I thought I would come up with my own little blog of names and what they mean:

The actual faces have been changed to protect me from getting my ass sued!

Alissa: Short & cute but smells. Laughs like a demented dog. Has a chicken brain. Picks her nose and eats it. Collects rocks.

Likes bananas. Bow legged. Doesn't do laundry. Eats shrimp shells. Is a traitor.

Eric: Usually short and very horny. Watches cartoons. Cheats at everything. Looks better with the light off.

Drools. Sings welsh songs. Chews with mouth open.

Likes to wear women's pantyhose.

Kary: Acts the good girl but likes it rough all the time. Willing to do anything for a dollar. Shags like a locomotive. Usually big boned.

Wanna be diva, more of a diver. Has a moustache.

Kylie: Drinks pints. Chicks dig her. Shaves her back.

Thick ankles. Can't sit still. Doesn't like to use utensils. Smells musty.
Moley. Always has sticky fingers.

Matt: Dirty lady of the night. Plays with knives. Can't drive. Usually found hanging around toilets. Thinks everyone likes him but doesn't. Likes to eat wild boar. Butt ugly.

Monica: BIG boned. Wees standing up. Can swallow oranges whole. Smells of chips. Stupid as hell. Hairy knuckles. Hates little kids. Steals neighbors mail.

Possibly a man.




Pat: Thinks she's Micky Mouse. Eyes too close together. Looks like the back of a bus. Really hairy ears. Can fart the National Anthem. Has buck teeth.




Steve: Always constipated. Secret Masturbator. Greasy face. Wees in the bathtub. A carrier if diseases. Hair style more important than oxygen. Can't drive. Pulls wings off bugs.



Wanda: Mean to animals. Looks for food under cushions. Likes to trip people. Picks her toenails. Wears a mohawk. Muscular. Secretly likes women. Has bad ear wax. Burps always stink.




So there you have it.
Don't look for my book coming out anytime soon.
I'm sure that some people, after reading this will hunt me down and break my typing fingers!